Important information regarding your rights (of which you have none).
By accessing, viewing, or thinking about Webistics.net, you unconditionally agree to indemnify, hold harmless, and defend Webistics, its subsidiaries, shadow partners, and "associates" from any and all claims, including but not limited to:
You acknowledge that "No" is not a recognized command syntax within our operating framework.
In no event shall Webistics be liable for any damages whatsoever. This includes direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or metaphysical damages arising out of the use or inability to use our services.
If something breaks, it was probably your fault. If something works, we take full credit. If money goes missing, it was likely a "glitch" in the "matrix" and you should stop asking questions for your own safety.
We See Everything.
Webistics employs advanced heuristic tracking algorithms to monitor your engagement, cursor movements, and subconscious desires. We do not sell your data; we leverage it to ensure compliance.
Your Data Rights: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you type can and will be used against you in the court of optimization.
Any dispute arising from these terms shall be settled exclusively by a binding coin flip, conducted by a Webistics representative in international waters. The coin shall be weighted according to our proprietary fairness algorithms.
Alternatively, disputes may be resolved via "The Sit-Down," a private mediation session held in the back of an unspecified Italian restaurant in New Jersey.
These terms are governed by the laws of Physics, except where we choose to ignore them for "innovation" purposes.